I’ve finished Mass Effect 2 a full three times now. I began by importing my Paragon FemShep Adept from the first game, and got out of the suicide mission with two tragic losses. Did a re-import of the same Shepard, making her a Sentinel this time and got the No Man Left Behind achievement.

So I’d seen how the game looks when you get the happy ending. It seemed appropriate to go back and see if I could devise the worst ending possible.

I booted up a New Male Shepard Soldier with the sole intention of killing every last motherfucker on the Normandy.

Choices!
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How did it turn out?
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So I didn’t quite succeed at my goal to get a perfect disaster run. When I attempt it again, Grunt is staying in his tube, I’ll do N7 missions to kill time instead of loyalty missions, Zaeed will go unrecruited and the Normandy will get zero upgrades.

I’m a very excited geek right now!  Couldn’t wait for PAX East before.  Definitely can’t wait now!

OMG OMG OMG!!! (sorry, I’m a bit of a spaz right now!)

From the opening sequence I knew this was going to be the best story I’d play out of the first four, and it never disappointed me.  There were moments I literally laughed out loud and other moments I cried.  /tear  It was a moving story, especially when compared to the games that came before it.

I didn’t have an issue with the grinding or leveling until I reached the moon.  Most of the game was pretty well balanced.  Once on the moon, though, I did have to spend a solid four or five hours grinding just so the random encounters didn’t destroy me.  I made it through, and the ending story was totally worth the frustration of the extra leveling.

I told myself I wouldn’t rate them until I was at least finished with the first six, but, out of the first four, this one is my favorite.  I have no doubt that better stories are to come, but, as of this moment, it stand III, II, I, and IV as my favorite.

FFV will be started this Sunday.  My mission is to have it completed by the end of the day the following Sunday.  I’m looking to you, the internets, to keep me focused on this mission.  If you see me on XBL, Steam, PSN, AIM, or anywhere else not working on my mission you have every right to chastise me, and please do!  I’m terrible at keeping myself focused on one game for an extended period of time, so I will be needing an extra push here and there.  Keep me honest kids!

Some people may say this is MW 1.5, but there are two things that make this more than just a reissue with a new name and paint job. The first is the game engine. Much has been written about the fact that the game now uses the new 4.0 game engine which IW says not only creates better environments but also allows the NPC’s to react differently to your actions each time you encounter them, essentially creating a new experience each time you play a level.

In terms of the environments, the most impressive display of the updated graphics are the snow storms that you play in early on in the story. No matter where you are taking the fight however, everything around just has a pop to it. There are occasional graphic glitches here and there, but nothing that seems to be recurring in any specific area.

Hearing that the enemy soldiers would react differently each time you confronted them was something that I had to see to believe. True to their word, on one of the mini-game missions you have to navigate across a bay bridge to the other side. I replayed the level a couple times and I did notice that depending on the route I took the oncoming soldiers would take cover behind different objects or sometimes not even press to me, just sitting back waiting for me to come to them. In another level, set in a small village, most of the gang members that I had to track down never seemed to be in the exact same spot with each play through. More time should be spent with it to see exactly to what degree this game play mechanic is effective.

Overall, the single player campaign is varied enough to offer something new to the experienced player without it feeling like a rehash of the same old thing.

Then there is online multi-player where the maps are bigger, the guns badder, and the perks more rewarding.

Most of the 16 maps have everything for everyone. You will be able to find a good sniper spot, navigate hallways, or ally ways for close combat encounters on almost every map. In the first few days of playing, I have yet to play a map that I didn’t like.

The five classes of guns are back from the previous versions. The main big difference is the type of secondary weapon you can choose. You now have the option of a pistol, automatic pistol, shotgun, or grenade launcher. These too will have attachments that you can add as they are unlocked.

There have been changes to the perk system to incorporate the “Pro” version of each. The upgrade version basically adds another trait to the normal perk. The selections that I am personally looking forward to are the Bling Perk (allows two attachments on a weapon), the Cold Blooded perk (undetectable by UAV, air support, sentry guns and thermal vision. The pro version does not show your name or a red cross hair when targeted) and the ninja perk (invisible to the heartbeat sensor attachment…think the tracker from “Aliens”).

Speaking of attachments, each gun has several options that are unlocked just like in the previous game. The difference here is that you must, at times, use the newly unlocked attachment for a set amount of kills to unlock the next attachment. The most interesting is the thermal scope. Looking through the scope give you a gray toned picture with only the soldiers appearing as bright white ghosts.

Finally, there are no Nazi or even Russian Zombies. However, there is a mode call “Special Ops”. This consists of five different packages of timed, survival, and objective based missions that can be played online or with a friend locally. There are some missions that do require two people and there are no options for Bots.

Each package has five different missions and each can be played on three different difficulty settings. A successful completion of a mission will award you a star. The higher difficulty, the more stars awarded. In order to unlock the next package of missions, a certain number of stars must be earned. While playing these missions, you can obtain the same requirements for achievements that you can in the campaign.

In order to advance to the later packages, it will be necessary to complete most if not all of the missions on the hardest level. Prepare to be challenged.

If you are wondering if the novelty of these mini-games will wear thin, the answer is probably yes, but they are a lot of fun. Even my wife, whose video game experience has been Mario Brothers and the occasional UNO game, played the AC-130 mission with me for about two hours. I never thought she would get so excited about blowing up a truck full of soldiers as they drove down the road.

Why you should play it: Great graphics, intense game play. The ability to own the annoying 13-year old from the belly of an AC-130 plane in multi-player.

Why you shouldn’t play it: Shooters with a lot of blood, guts and language are not your idea of a good time. You tend to break your controller after being owned by the annoying 13-year old from the belly of an AC-130 plane in multi-player.

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John (360 gamer tag J La Flum Boise) is a 32-year old avid gamer going on 20 years. He grew up on the Atari 2600 and now plays on the PS3 and 360. He has been married to a non gamer for almost 7 years and prefers it stays that way because he does not like to share his toys.

Meet Jake. He’s everything you would expect a gamer to be. He’s a test subject at the local soil and water research facility and wishes to become a creature-robot cross breeder. He hates the outdoors, but his work makes him know gardening. He’s absent-minded, and also greatly dislikes cleaning up after himself. He prefers to spend most of his time on the couch channel surfing or in front of the computer. His favorite color is green. He likes indie music the best, and noms on philly cheese steaks any chance he gets.

Jake just recently settled into Sunset Valley.  He hired a crew to build a small place for him to call home.  He happily took pictures of the process.

As you can see it’s a small home, but a gamer doesn’t need much more than one room and a bathroom.  Honestly, I’m sure he would’ve been okay without the walls around the bathroom too…  Though if he were to ever have visitors they might be put off by the idea of everyone seeing their junk.  So at least Jake thinks about the possibility of having acquaintances…

The slightly finished product.  You can see the bathroom in it’s completion, the bedroom area and the kitchen.  It’s not much to look at, but it’s more than adequate to start.  Thankfully Jake was able to save enough money to make a decent home for himself.  He does hope, someday, for a dishwasher since he hates cleaning up after himself.  Poor guy has to wash everything by hand for the time being.  I think he’ll manage.

The outside of the house isn’t much to look at, but it doesn’t really matter since Jake doesn’t spend much time outdoors.  The backyard will soon be filled by a garden since he has to learn for work.  Don’t worry, he pouts about it almost the entire time.  There are a decent amount of windows at least so he can get some natural lighting during the day time hours.

Jake’s hanging out and watching some TV in the living room area.  Notice the race car and Saturday morning cartoon postors.  Also, the green walls.  It is is favorite color after all.  The TV is small, but I’m sure once he has some extra cash theat’ll be remedied.  The table in the corner is his little dining room area.  It’s a little sad that there’s only one chair, but since he just moved here he hasn’t had time to make friends yet.  The furniture is simple, but it gets the job done.  Gotta save that money for the latest and greatest PC and video games!

Jake attempts to prepare his first meal in his new home.  He’s not the greatest of cooks yet and probably won’t ever be.  The only thing he seems to want to do is order pizza for every meal.  Even I don’t eat that much pizza!  Dang Jake!  Get a little something else in your diet for a change!

Not the most flattering picture.  Jake licks his plate clean so he doesn’t have to wash it.

Seriously!  How lazy do you have to be!  Thanks for proving the stereotype man!

Jake’s first attempt at making dinner in his new place was a success.  The second attempt…  Not so much.  Jake ended up catching the stove on fire and having to call the fire department to handle the mess.  All that extra money he had saved went to a new stove and a few new cabinets.  It was a sad day in his little world.

This is the first, and most recent update I’ve received from Jake.  Stay tuned for more as his life progresses.

This is the best thing I have read in a long time. 3D Dot Heroes is my most, by far, anticipated game in a long time. I cannot wait to see what From Software, hot off the success of Demon’s Souls, can do with the classic 8-Bit action-RPG genre in this game.

For those who don’t know, 3D Dot Heroes is a tribute/parody/clone of the old 8-Bit Zelda (and Zelda clones of the time) games, and it looks really friggin awesome. 8-bit graphic style but in full HD. Well, let these screens speak for themselves!!

ATLUS ENDS YEARS OF ALLEGEDLY NOT PRINTING ENOUGH COPIES OF GAMES AND THEN LAUGHING AT EMPTY-HANDED CUSTOMERS, RELEASES DIGITAL DOWNLOAD VERSIONS OF PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) SYSTEM CLASSICS VIA PlayStation®NETWORK

Not you, though. We were only laughing at the other guys.

IRVINE, CALIFORNIA — OCTOBER 23, 2009 — Atlus U.S.A., Inc. today broke from its supposed practice of undersupplying the retail channel and guffawing as fans desperately scramble to find one of only dozens of copies of a game by releasing a number of titles from its PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system library via PlayStation®Network: Crimson Gem Saga™, Hammerin’ Hero™, Yggdra Union™, Steambot Chronicles Battle Tournament™, R-Type Command™, and Riviera: The Promised Land™. As digital downloads, the games no longer threaten fans with feelings of guilt and remorse for not pre-ordering or purchasing at launch, and instead now allow for pajama-clad living room shopping from an unlimited inventory.

“We’ve finally reached a point where, according to our physicians, any further laughing at our masterfully executed plan of never making enough copies of our games for everyone poses risks to our health,” admitted Aram Jabbari, Manager of PR and Sales at Atlus. “In order to prevent illness, and because, hey, sometimes you just want to change things up, we’re very pleased to offer PSP system classics via digital download. It may mean that we’ll have to shut down our numerous online auction accounts, as we won’t be able to hoard large quantities of our hard-to-find games and then slowly trickle them out at obscenely high prices anymore, but the end result will be better for everyone.”

The Atlus PSP system legacy titles now available for digital download cover a broad range of genres, so whatever your fancy, there’s something to strike it. If you prefer action-packed platforming, you’ll love Hammerin’ Hero (LINK). If you’re more into hot-and-heavy mech-on-mech action, then Steambot Chronicles Battle Tournament (LINK) is right up your alley. Crimson Gem Saga (LINK) offers classic RPG fans with an epic adventure laced with interesting characters and witty dialogue. Riviera: The Promised Land (LINK) provides a unique take on the JRPG and an immersive story about a war between gods and demons, while strategy fans are sure to enjoy the deep, rewarding gameplay of Yggdra Union (LINK) and R-Type Command (LINK).

Visit PlayStation®Store and pick up an Atlus classic for your PSP system today!

Well played Atlus, well played!

However, it is hard to translate that same experience to the iPhone/iPod Touch. The controls just aren’t right for a traditional puzzle game. What’s needed then is a game that eschews the traditional control format and really utilizes the options provided on an iPhone/iPod Touch.

This is that game, the 99 cent wonder Unify.

I am smitten with Unify in a way that no other puzzle game on the iPhone has managed to do. It’s simple to learn, difficult to master, and really makes you think on the fly. This is made more impressive by the game being programed by one man, Zach Gage, and audio by Carlos Hernandez.

Unify requires that you use both sides of the screen at the same time, to move and rotate two block groups to make four (or more) blocks touch and remove them from the field. You slide them around using your fingers, and tap the screen to rotate the peices. Much like Nintendo Puzzle League, when you tap to rotate the axial block is highlighted with a bigger white box, so you know how to rotate it properly. It’s like you’re playing two games of Tetris that effect each other at the same time.

The higher in levels you get, the faster and more varying the colors become that you need to match. Manipulating both fields leads to quick decisions. Move one block set faster than another and try and set up a combo? Just get rid of a group of four blocks quickly that have been slowing your combos down? It’s up to you, but think quick!

Having the main focus of the game in the center is a really smart choice, as you won’t be blocking it with your thumbs while manipulating the pieces on either side. The center blocks are always there to view, so you can think ahead about what you want to do, or to avoid a catastrophe.

When either side has a length that reaches the edge of the screen, it’d game over. The imperiled side will begin to flash red, and the caution! warning will flash in the upper right corner. Clear that out quick or it’s all over!

There are not a lot of modes available, but for the price of the game, that’s not something to hold against it. The game modes allow you to play from level 1 through 40 in Normal mode, or start from the difficulty you want and just keep going in the Endless modes. You unlock the Endless modes by playing through Normal and reaching higher and higher levels.

The graphics, as you can see, are simplistic and straight to the point, which is nice in a puzzle game. No muss, no fuss. The music is really fun and 8-bit, which is perfect for the look and feel this game is trying to put across.

The game supports OpenFeint, which is an PSN/Xbox Live-esque service which shows what your friends (pulled from Twitter and Facebook) are playing (or last played if they are offline), how you compare to them, how you compare to the world, and so on. There is no multiplayer in Unify the game, but this is a nice feature to support, and the service does have a few good games, like Radio Flare (reviewed previously), PocketGod, geoDefence, and more.

Why You Should Buy Unify: The game is 99 cents and, in my opinion, the best puzzle experience on the iPhone to this date.

Why You Shouldn’t Buy Unify: You don’t have 99 cents, hate fun, hate puzzles

Buy it on the App Store here!

On March 24th I began FF I and completed it on April 9th.  It was a swift game compared to most modern JRPGs.  I was pleased with the little amount of time spent on this original game. Next up was FF II, of course.  I began this leg of my mission the day I completed FF I, April 9th.  I spent just a little over a month play, and it was finally defeated on May 26th.   At this point I have roughly two months in to my mission.  The original plan was to destroy the first six incarnations of Final Fantasy in six months, and once I started diving into FF III I released this was not going to happen.

FF III was started on June 1st, and, at this time, is still a work in progress.  This brings us to the real story.  Finally!

There has been a lot of time away from this game for me.  Summer was in full swing, and I do enjoy the outdoors.  This is no excuse, however, for how long it’s taking me to complete the third incarnation of the Final Fantasy series.  FF III has a severe lack of story in my opinion.  While playing I find myself getting a good five or ten minutes of story followed by a good hour or so in a dungeon getting ready to face my next boss battle only to release, after my sudden defeat, that I’m not anywhere near the level I’m supposed to be to face this guy.  So I start again.  This time taking two or three hours in the dungeon to level before facing the boss again.  Then defeating him quite handily.  This is how the entire story progresses.  If I think I’m a high enough level, I’m not.

We come to September 8th.  I’m in the next to the last dungeon, and I’ve spent five hours leveling in preparation.  “I can do this.  I know I can.” I make it through the dungeon finding some much needed elixirs and phoenix downs along the way.   I face Xande and demolish him without any real effort.  At this time I feel I’m a high enough level to begin the last dungeon which contains five boss battles.  I figure while I’m finding my way through the dungeon I’ll gave the levels required to defeat the bosses.  I make it to the first one, Echidna, and destroy her easily.  I find out that after each boss battle my HP and MP are completely recovered.  Making the dungeon much easier to survive.  The next boss, Ahriman, is just as easy.  By his defeat I’ve managed to gain two extra levels.  The next two where more difficult, but still defeated.  I make my way to the final boss, Cloud of Darkness.  Within three turns my party is completely destroyed.  I spent a good two and a half hours playing without being able to save the game.  This put me back to the beginning of the next to the last dungeon.
The amount of cursing and crying you may think I did cannot even begin to explain how I felt.  I have spent far too much time on this game.  I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to gain about ten more levels before I can begin again.  After defeating Xande I have no way to go back and save my progress.  So all of these levels must be gained before I face him.  So far I have gained six of those levels and now have 34 hours in game play.  I went through an optional dungeon to gain most of these levels and also acquired a few new pieces of equipment that have proven to be helpful.

I’ve said this far too often already, but this game will be defeated by the end of this weekend.  If it is not the entire internets has the right to mock me.

I (apparently foolishly) thought that M:UA2 preoreder codes would be handled the same way Banjo-Kazooie codes were handled for those of us who preordered Nuts & Bolts. Everything worked out great. GameStop got my money early and often (I like to use preordering like layaway), and when I picked up my copy of Nuts & Bolts I was handed a card with an XBLA code on it that netted me a copy of the N64 classic Banjo-Kazooie.

GameStop’s M:UA2 scheme seems very similar on the surface. I gave GS money over a couple of months and when I picked up my game I was given a card. This time, though, there was no code – just instructions to go to a website. I did so and was prompted to supply my email address and a number from my receipt. For some reason it would take 2 days to get me my code.

Why is this? How much coding could it possibly take that a simple program can’t compare my receipt number (a record of my transaction) against a flag in the database that must read “set aside for preorder pickup” and email my code within 5 minutes? What part of this process takes 2 days? Is there some poor intern comparing submitted information to paper records by hand? And again, if they have codes (which they must if they’re emailing them to people) and if they have cards to print, why not just put the codes on the cards and leave that door dumb intern alone?

If GameStop is looking to attract and retain customers (which they should be) then they’re going to have to do better than “Meh, we’ll get you your preorder bonus in a roundabout way when we good and ready. Also, we’ll take the website down for a while without explaining why.” Seriously, check the URL. At time of writing http://www.gamestop.com/MUA2VIP directs to a “Whoops! You must suck at typing, dude!” page. When I buy something, I expect to get it all at the same time.

The M:UA2 VIP page

And what really irks me about this is that I can’t bring myself to start the game until I can play as the characters I want (Iron Fist and Juggernaut). The moral of this story, I suppose, is that I am stupid for assuming GameStop could copy their own damned preorder bonus strategy and that GameStop is stupid for not just printing codes on cards that they were already taping to preordered copies of Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2.