Blame the Gays: TV Update for Friday 7/10/09
Holy shit, actual news!
This is Kyle Cease
Robin Williams is going to do his first HBO special in seven years! It’ll air this December, and may or may not be funny. I know everyone loves his “Live on Broadway” DVD, but I’ve never enjoyed comedians whose entire act consists of talking quickly and screaming. Kyle Cease talking quickly is funny. Lewis Black screaming is funny. Robin Williams doing both is not funny.
By the way, one of my friends from high school is dating Kyle Cease, hence the reference to a comedian I’m sure only a few of you have seen. I’m such a name-dropping bitch.
Remember how I said Hung was a good show? Well it still is (probably… there was no new episode this week) and MTV was all “Hey, we can do a show about penises, too!” It’s called “Hard Times” which is an EXTREMELY CLEVER callback to Fast Times at Ridgemont High and also an erection.
Show chronicles the hellish life of RJ Berger, a desperately unpopular 15-year-old.
When RJ’s anatomical gift is dramatically revealed in front of the whole school, he goes from anonymous to famous and finds his first sliver of confidence. But he also has to deal with a best friend trying to capitalize on his newfound fame, a student body with no shortage of cruel jokes and an insane home life.
I’ve been out of high school for like 5 years so maybe things have changed, but I’m pretty sure that if my dick were shown to the entire school, gifted or not, my life would be pretty much over and I’d have to move. Then again, I wasn’t blessed with 10 inches of man meat and I grew up in Ohio, so who knows. There, you learned something about me. We’re sharing.
Ausiello posted major spoilers for the August episodes of True Blood. I haven’t read them, but I can’t say I haven’t been tempted ever since some asshole gave me the link. You can find them here.
Billy Mays is going to be in some more commercials post-mortem. Some people are calling it tasteless and insensitive, but it’s what the guy lived for so fuck them. Would it also be tasteless and insensitive to jerk it to pictures of dead porn stars? Or to have sex with a dead prostitute? Use your brains, folks.
Speaking of the recently-deceased, 31 million people watched the Michael Jackson Memorial across the NINETEEN DIFFERENT NETWORKS on which it aired. By comparison, President Reagan and Princess Di’s funerals each aired on 8 networks. That is some serious media-driven idolatry. I don’t want to suggest that Bill O’Reily might actually be right for once, but so I won’t. Fuck that guy.
There’s a discrepancy between True Blood’s solid ratings and huge DVD sales. TVByTheNumbers’ theory? The Gays are buying in droves. This show is so gay, gays are drawn to its gayness. And who could blame them, what with all the gay and everything. I mean, I was going to go with “people who don’t want to pay $15/month are downloading the episodes during the season and buying the DVD later” as my reason, but I’m obviously fooling myself. I just don’t want to admit that one of my favorite shows is gay, because that would make me gay. And I’m not gay, because that guy promised it wasn’t if we didn’t kiss on the mouth.